I just read this story over at the smoking gun as I was doing some other rectum related research. Turns out some bleeding is actually healthy.
Apparently this inmate decided to get started early and do some advance prep for life in jail. Prior to arriving at jail he crammed this huge item into his rectum and also traded himself for a pack of cigarettes to his next door neighbor.
As a public service I thought I would post this visual reminder to all new gun owners. The following was taken from a pamphlet available on this same topic over at the NRA’s “Where to put my new gun” website. Be sure to visit them for more helpful hints.
The debt talks continued to stall when Speaker Boehner repeatedly demanded that as a part of the deal Senate Majority Leader Reid pull his finger.
Alright, that didn’t happen, but it has almost gotten that bad. They are all acting like juveniles. They are playing with words and trying desperately to game each other.
A few points with all this nonsense:
• We can’t default on anything. The truth is we don’t have to because we take in enough to make our commitments. One area that might be impacted is federal workers. Is that a bad situation? Yes, but the private sector has been losing jobs through layoffs for what seems like an eternity. Why should a Level 8 Pencil Pusher with the Department of Education or a Senior Anal Rapist at the IRS be immune to a down economy?
• Stop referring to tax increases as “tax reform” and “revenue increases.” It is the worst kind of vague wordplay designed to confuse the electorate. It is embarrassing that the press has so willingly embraced the “reform” and “revenue” buzzword. It should come as no surprise though as the media has an agenda.
• Stop acting like everyone is trying to find common ground. It is nonsense. Stake your positions and defend them. Compromise is what has gotten us here in the first place. Have a backbone, state your case honestly and see if it can be embraced. Give us all a break. The politics is acceptable. You are politicians! What isn’t acceptable is the posturing and pretense that “I am so above politics” and “I just want a balanced approach”. It is a sham and you know it.
Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow.
I feel like we have watched little Harry Potter grow up right before our eyes. Remember this cute little guy. Well now all these many years later he is much more grown up.
Alright, that isn’t Harry Potter, but it damn well could be. I feel like these ridiculous movies started a decade ago. Wait, they did start over a decade ago. I know people are addicted to them, but really can we just move on and watch something fresh, new and original like the next Batman movie or something with Ben Affleck’s teeth.
My apologies to the melting elderly gentlemen pictured in the photo, that is Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. They need to turn up the air conditioning in the White House negotiation room as he does not look well at all. What a world! What a world!
No reality TV, no Simon Cowell, plenty of Ninjas and an abundance of Nell Carter.
My second favorite show of the 80′s was Alf, but the best by far was that short lived sitcom featuring the wonderful Ms. Nell Carter and the distinguished Conrad Bain.
Today, no network(maybe HBO) would air the innovative series about an eccentric millionaire, his maid/forbidden lover and their exploits as secret crime fighting ninjas. The chemistry between those two was great.
I still remember my t-shirt with the catchphrase “Don’ make me nun chuck you, Mr. K”.
That was smart television and no dancing hasbeens will ever be able to top that.
I was so excited to hear last year that they were casting for the movie version of “Gimme a Ninja”. Jennifer Hudson will be great and I am very excited to see what Joe Pesci will do with the role.
This is by far the worst name ever for a clown. When I view this, I immediately get a vision of a half drunk child’s birthday clown with bladder control issues stumbling around, inadvertently popping balloon animals and asking little Jimmy for directions to the closest bathroom.
Nothing says a great sixth birthday like urine soaked big floppy shoes splashing around the living room. I guess the one upside is the big baggy pants could possibly conceal adult diapers.
I can see the first moments of the party:
Mr. Sprinkles: “Hey hey kids, I’m incontinent”!
Little Jimmy: “Mommy? Mr. Sprinkles smells like Grandma”.
So, I guess what really bothers me more than anything is that I do not want to consider the urinary tract of circus performers when shopping for ice cream toppings. It is just not appetizing. I started really looking at this bottle and started to fixate while looking at his stomach. I think number one may be a problem for old Sprinkles here, but looking at the contents of his stomach, number two may be much more of a pressing concern. The Barnum people need to spring for some Imodium. This clown is about to blow.
I don’t even want ice cream anymore.
Hot, sassy, and made up like a barfly. I am actually quite attracted to “Hot Mama” for reasons that I can’t quite fully explain and that I am not really comfortable discussing. She looks like she is one of those pickles that knows things. Like she might be able to teach me a thing or two. I can imagine the briny passion as I throw that little pink hat to the bedroom floor. She is obviously older and I am usually much more into gherkins, but she is so damn sassy. She is she such a PILF.
I intend to go straight vegetarian. No antibiotics, no added hormones and a…wait…
UPDATE: So, it has been brought to my attention that the odd vegetarian diet statement on the label is referring to the cattle’s diet which is vegetarian.
There are three problems here.
First, it is not at all clear. I was confused as hell trying to figure out how this pound of beef fit into a vegetarian diet. I guess vegetarians are smarter than I, but still it remains confusing.
The second problem is even worse. They are encouraging me to eat meat by telling me how healthy the cattle are because they are fed a vegetarian diet. Shouldn’t I just eat a vegetarian diet according to their logic? Wouldn’t that make me more healthy and palatable if I were to be sold and eaten?
Aren’t cattle always vegetarian? Are the cattle that are not from the Nature’s Harvest people ravenous pack animals that will chase down any animal not quicker than a 1500 pound steer?
So, I recently posted an examination of a portrait of King George and in my extensive research, I found another royal portrait that made me question who do they have commissioning these things.This painting is called “Three Princes” painted by the artist Andre Durand in 1994. The painting depicts the Prince of Wales and his two sons Harry and William.
What is this supposed to represent? Is this the way that Prince Charles would take his young sons to school in the morning? Little league cricket?
I can see the scene now, Charles standing at the bottom of the steps in his cape and hat with a feather, shaking his horse keys (for the purpose of this discussion, horses have keys) yelling up to the boys “It’s a long way to Tipperary Athletic Center, its a long way to go.”